"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
