even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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