you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
