I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
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Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
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I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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