Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
