I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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