You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Randomize
