its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
