he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
