so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize