I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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