i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
