Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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