come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
