I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
