Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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