I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
