My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize