I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
