You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
