We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
