she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think I sprained my soul last night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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