Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
