my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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