It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
