Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
