WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
