she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
