isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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