why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the day after is always just damage control
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
