There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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