and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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