Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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