New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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