I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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