Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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