You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
