just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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