no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
