is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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