So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
