I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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