when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
