Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
