how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
