I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
