I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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