oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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