Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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