I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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