What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
