I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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