i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
