They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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