I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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