just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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