oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ugly people sure do ruin things
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
