I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
