just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
