Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
