Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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