yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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