just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize