I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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